Miser Bath Brittle
For those who think Scrooge had it right the first time around, indulge in our "Miser Bath Brittle" – because who says villains can't have fabulous baths?
💰 Benefits (No Redemption Arc Necessary!):
- Hardens your resolve faster than Scrooge can say "Bah, Humbug!"
- Shields you from holiday cheer more effectively than Marley's chains
- Leaves you feeling more delightfully miserly than ever
🎩 A Feast for the Senses (and Your Coin Purse):
- Glittering gold and black chunks that shine like the coins you refuse to part with
- Fragrance so empowering, it could turn "Merry Christmas!" into "Are there no prisons?"
- Warning: May cause sudden urges to cancel Christmas bonuses or shoo carolers from your door
👃 Scent-sational Villainy:
Top Notes: Pink pomegranate, Valencia orange, and coconut (as sharp as your wit)
Heart Notes: Douglas fir, clove leaf, and cinnamon (as spicy as your retorts)
Base Notes: Frozen woods and tonka bean (as cold as your calculating heart)
💼 How to Maximize Your Miserliness:
- Fill your tub (with the bare minimum of water, of course)
- Crumble in the brittle (while counting the cost of each piece)
- Soak and let the scent remind you why being bad feels so good
- Emerge refreshed and ready to crush some holiday spirits
Side effects may include: spontaneous grumbling, a sudden desire to foreclose on orphanages, and an irresistible urge to correct everyone's math.
Remember: In a world of Tiny Tims, dare to be the Scrooge! Perfect for aspiring villains, misanthropes, and anyone who thinks Christmas cheer is highly overrated. 😈
"I'll retire to Bedlam." Well, darling, with skin this soft and a heart this hard, you'll be the talk of Victorian London's most fashionable villains!
P.S. If you find yourself inexplicably drawn to charity work or office parties, take another bath immediately. It's just your conscience trying to ruin a perfectly good bad mood!
Perfect for dealing with holiday crowds, unwanted carolers, or anyone who insists on spreading too much cheer.